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Who Is Simon?

Reprinted with permission from Managing Incontinence: A Guide to Living with Loss of Bladder Control, edited by Cheryle B. Gartley

Eventually, wherever I speak someone will ask me what Simon stands for.  It is a question I love to answer and this book would not be complete without your knowing too.

Simon was my grandfather, and although in many ways an ordinary man, he was very special.  He had a belief that was central to his life.  He believed that in this country anything was possible.  Crawling across the border of his own beloved country, Latvia, at risk to his life, he made his way to this country with only the shirt on his back.  A tailor by trade, he opened a small business, which supported his wife and four children, and which eventually enabled him to purchase even an automobile.

He died when I was twenty-one, but the tapes of our conversations still play in my memory.  When I got my first pair of real shoes, Capizzio's no less, grandpa said, "In this country, they look great on you."  In Italy would they have looked terrible?  When I became a fairly proficient clarinetist and grandfather would hear my newest piece, he would respond, "In this country, you will make a terrific professional musician."  Anywhere else I would have sounded like an amateur, no doubt.  When the tragedy of braces on my teeth befell me at age eighteen, grandpa thought they were beautiful, because, of course, where else but in America could the dentists perform such miracles!

Once, and only once, in the rebellious teenage years did I contradict him.  I remember telling him in an outburst that in this country only girls that were beautiful got to be cheerleaders, that in this country only the "rich" people got dates to the boat club parties, and, furthermore, that in this country one of my friends, who happened to be black, couldn't get a haircut in any barbershop in our town.  By that time he had been in America for over half a century, so he knew that killing granddaughters here, even teenage ones, was a crime.  After he stopped breathing heavily, and the red left his face, he said, "In this country, everything can be changed."

The Simon Foundation is named after this man, to challenge everyone who believes as he did - those who see a wrong and believe it can be made right - and to motivate a granddaughter.

Page last modified 26 October 2009